Monday, November 23, 2009

Freaky Friday

I should know better than to Google health-related things.


Take, for instance, any weird symptom I might be having (or my husband, or one of the kids). If I Google it, EVERY TIME I will be directed to pages that speak of some incurable, death-sentence disease that someone had with the EXACT SAME SYMPTOMS! Then I freak out.

Well, a couple months ago, when Jordan was 7 months old, Mother Nature gave me back my girl gift. Isn't she sweet? Yeah...

Anyway, I got it then and I got it a month later, but this month I've been waiting and waiting and waiting. I've got the bad skin I get every month. I've had the stupid chocolate cravings, I've been weepy, I've been crabby and everything in between. I've even had cramps.

But here I sit, more than 2 weeks after I should have started and nothing!

So, of course, the wheels start turning. After all, when I found out I was pregnant with Jordan, I was positive I was going to start any second. I had bad skin, cravings, weepies, crampies, etc. Then I got two pink lines.

So, I Googled it.

Specifically, I googled "pregnancy after vasectomy."

And then I got scared. My goodness! A Google search like that will point you to tons and tons of discussion pages of women getting pregnant after their hubbies were "fixed" and then their hubbies not believing it was their baby, etc. What a mess! All sorts of men tested "all clear" only to find out that they were not, in fact, all clear.

So, after I dropped Logan off at school, I ran to the dollar store to get an el cheapo pregnancy test. Of course they were out, so I went to Wal-Mart and got one for $4. Anywhere else I would have paid at least $10 to $12 and anywhere up to $25, which really makes me wonder, why are those things so darn expensive if they can sell ones that work just as well at the dollar store? (Because they know people will buy them no matter what the cost, that's why! How rude!)

I also bought an Amy's Kitchen cheese enchilada whole meal and a regular Coke and a dark chocolate Reese's PB cup for lunch because, come on, I was a little stressed and Amy's Kitchen cheese enchiladas and a regular Coke and a dark chocolate Reese's will go a long way toward making one feel better! :)

Then I came home and peed on the stupid plastic stick and proceeded to wait for the longest three minutes of my life.

OK, who am I kidding. I didn't wait the whole three minutes before looking at it. I was peering at that thing every 20 seconds for about 7 minutes straight, just to make sure an extra line didn't appear.

And it didn't.

So I sent off a quick e-mail to Hubby, who had no idea I was even late, and I ate my Amy's and Coke (the Reese's never made it home) and all was right with the world.

I should add, a third child would NOT be the worst thing ever to happen to me, it's just that Hubby and I decided it wasn't a good idea for me to have any more because I get preeclampsia (high blood pressure) when I'm pregnant and have to go on bed rest. That was annoying when I got pregnant with Logan because I had to stop working immediately and spend 6 weeks on the couch. Then, with Jordan it happened earlier, and I had to spend 14 1/2 weeks on the couch (October 29-Feb. 7!) and poor Logan was stuck in the living room with me all day every day. It wasn't a fun winter for either of us. I couldn't IMAGINE having to be on bed rest with TWO little boys running around!

That and kids are expensive.

My "gift" still hasn't appeared even though I practically cried at the gym last night due to a bad workout (which happens nearly every time I am about to start). I am assuming that I am just off-schedule because I am still nursing.

We shall see!

So, anyway, that's the tale of my Freaky Friday!


MarciaG said...

WHEW! :)

Gwenn said...

I think I see the faiintest..just kidding!! Ha! Don't hurt me. :)I'm glad it was negative for you..I've skipped months altogether before so that could def. happen. I wish men had to deal with this kind of stuff, even for just one day. Could you imagine?