Friday, September 11, 2009

I can't find the remote!

I have this unwanted houseguest... you know the type, never shuts up and totally overstays her welcome. I have no idea how to get her to LEAVE or at least, just shut the hell up.
It's me!
Yep, me.
You see, I'm having a big problem lately with turning off my mind so I can sleep. And sleep is really important to me right now, since I still have a baby who wakes up multiple times a night.
I go to sleep the first time just fine on most nights. I'm SO ready for bed that it doesn't seem to take me that long to fall asleep, but the problem comes later, when I get up with Jordan. I can't help it, my mind just starts going. I think about what I am going to do the next day, what I will write on here, I think about what is bothering me (and then I get mad and REALLY can't go back to sleep!). I think about my ever-expanding to-do list. I think about everything and then I try to go back to sleep and I lay there. For a long time.
Lately, most nights will go something like this: Go to bed around 10. Jordan wakes up around 1. Try to get him back to sleep without nursing. He screams frantically for a half hour. Give in, nurse him (mind going like crazy), go back to bed. Lay there. See 3 a.m. come and go. Finally fall back asleep. Have some weird dream. Hubby's clock goes off at 4:45. Mind starts going. Hear Hubby leave. Mind continues running its marathon. Realize it's almost 6. Give up, get up and start day feeling very tired. No wonder i can't seem to give up coffee! Or keep a few pounds off. No wonder I hit a slump around 2 a.m. every day and crave chocolate and almonds all day, every day. I have no energy!

But as important as I know it is, I have no idea how to get a good night's sleep. I know it will help once Jordan is not waking up in the middle of the night. Other than letting him scream for hours, I don't know how to break him of that habit. I've tried and failed several times now. Either I get up and nurse him really quickly and the house is quiet or we let him scream like a madman and no one gets any sleep.

I also don't know how to turn off my mind. I can't find the remote that controls it! How on Earth do you stop your mind from going, going, going all the time? It's not like I have anything TOO stressful going on. I'm a stay-at-home mom for Pete's sake! I mean, yeah, I have housework to do (too much of it, and I wonder if my mind would quiet down a bit if I could just catch up) and school and stuff with the boys, but I don't have too many REAL worries.

I don't know. maybe I should try doing some yoga before bed or something. The only thing about that is it would require me to stay up later and I don't want to miss out on any more sleep!

But anyway, that's it. I'm up early again, I'm tired again, I want coffee again (and I actually let it run out, so I can't even make some!)

Same story, different day.


LaDyLaDuke said...

I have the same problem--mind racing during the night. Sometimes I get my best design ideas then though! A trick I do, which is not easy, is to literally try to think about nothing. You have to keep saying to yourself, "nothing", or whatever works for you to just have that blankness. If you do it long enough, the sleepiness finally kicks in. Try it...don't kill me if it doesn't work!